Best Supporting Actor

To all the Brad Pitts of the world I have an announcement: Your poop does stink. Being handsome is all well and good but today I am offering a list of some of my favorite actors who are shall we say ... less than icons.
1. John Hannah
2. John C. Reilly
3. William Peterson
4. Mandy Patinkin
5. John Simm (what's up with me and John's?)
6. Bruce Campbell
7. Jason Dohring
8. Tom Lenk
9. Alex O'Loughlin - who actually can act when not trying to be a melodramic vampire.
10. Anthony Bourdain - okay, not an actor but I still love him

Living is easy with eyes closed...

but watching a movie isn't! And you'll want to keep your eyes wide open for the entire (almost) three hours of Across The Universe.

I admit that I am a shameless Beatles fan. If they did a Trivial Pursuit Beatles Edition I could win it, competitively. So the movie was pure, sweet indulgence of my longest lived hobby (being a groupie).

The film is a musical (Beatles music if you hadn't gathered that), in the same way that Mamma Mia was for ABBA. It stars a bunch of people you haven't seen before but will soon be seeing a lot of (I know, I checked) with cameos from Joe Cocker, Salma Hayek, Bono and Eddie Izzard (not wearing a dress at all, but still, thankfully, in leather pants).

Even if you're not a huge fan you can still enjoy the movie, everyone knows a Beatles tune or two to sing along with throughout the show and the story is quite lovely. The visuals are, however, amazing, and sometimes like totally psychadelic man.

For music and clips check out the highly interactive Web site: http://www.acrosstheuniverse.com/

They should have sent a poet, cause I don't have the words

I am a big fan of foreign films. I mean Ameilie, Seven Samurai, this is great stuff, classic even. But I recently saw the best foreign film of all time: Riki-Oh, The Story of Ricky. The blurb on the back goes like this - "When his drug-addicted girlfriend commits suicide, Riki-Oh offs her dealer and finds himself locked up in a prison where the accused have no rights and very little hope. The other inmates torture Riki-Oh with a stunning variety of implements (which include pretty much anything at hand), but he fights back as if his life depended on it -- which it does!"

Let me go ahead and tell you this is not an accurate description. Yes the girlfriend dies, yes our hero kills a drug dealer and yes he then goes to prison. How and when these events occur has little bearing on the ... lets call it plot.

The movie is dubbed so poorly that it could have been a spoof and in addition to that it was also subtitled in English and the two don't match! It's awesome!

In the end the main bad guy turns into a giant monster. I don't even know how to tell you all about the confusion and disturbing badness that is this great, great film!

My Imaginary boyfriends think this one is going to be a hit

Of late I have adored Ryan Gosling. He is cute and talented, what more can a girl ask for?

I hope this flick is as good as I think it will be.

Ryan (because we are totally on a first name basis) is Lars a delusional young man who buys a life-size sex doll over the Internet, and then

falls in love with her.

YES, he FALLS IN LOVE with her!!!!

Should be good.

Love,

J

So I watched this movie.......

I love a good plot twist! When Premiere Magazine delivered their top 20 plot twists I was ready and waiting.

In all truth I have seen most of the flicks on the list, but I was (and still am) ready to expose myself to more and more of these delicious twisted plots.

The first one that tugged on my I've got to see that string was Angel Heart starring the often confusing Mickey Rourke, and the always devilish Robert De Niro.

The story was weird. I was not really impressed. Rourke (who I am not very familiar with so forgive me if my opinion is different than yours) doesn't appear to be able to act his way out of a wet paper bag. De Niro was creepy and excellent, but he was the only good thing.

Uuhhggggg..............let my suffering be enough for all of us.

J

Holy Crap She's Back!

I, your most beloved Madam M, went on an Internet free sabbatical for the last several months. Now I am back (dare I say with a vengeance?) and am ready to continue my share time.

I would like to take this opportunity to sing the praises of my new favorite toy, I mean boy, I mean actor! Gerard Butler is very good looking, so this blog is fully dedicated to him. Lets begin with 300. The truth is this movie was low on plot, melodramatic and spent an obscene amount of money on CGIing things (including, I believe, the abs of every man in the film, there is just no way those abs are all real). It was kind of like Braveheart ... but without the clutter of a well-written script and characters you care about. Truth be told there is only one real reason to watch this movie: lust. My dear friend Sarah loves this movie with the fiery passion of a single woman. My dear friend Matt hates this movie with the fiery passion of a dude watching women watch other dudes. So if you are not lustful of many hard-bodied men running around in diapers I suggest you stay away. *If you do watch it though be sure to keep your eyes peeled for the the pretty boy who played Laura Linneys love interest Karl in Love, Actually, here's a hint: gold paint*

From big budget melodrama to independent sweetness. This movie is the reason I love Gerard Butler, not just want to drool over him. Dear Frankie, it's subdued and it made me cry. He looks better without the beard and the movie actually has a purpose beyond Frank Millers obvious homoeroticphilia.

Bill Paxton Evil Genius???

As much as is pains me to admit this I am going to come clean, well I have probably told Madam M, but I am sure I swore her to secrecy, here it is..........I have a total crush on Bill Paxton. Really! As I sit here and type, red-faced with emotion (because I can't bring myself to be embarresed by this) I know I am not alone. So you there.....the one who was directed to this post while searching for Mr. Paxton........say hi (we should totally start a club)!



I finally got to watch Frailty the other night. Dear Bill did not disappoint. The movie was creepy and twisty and pretty damn good.

I don't want to say much more, for fear of spoiling it for someone else. So I shall now shut up about the content......what I will say is this, If you haven't seen this movie you should.

Love,
J

Late Late At Night

Last Friday night I tossed and turned in my cozy and beautiful bed. Over tired I became cranky, I yelled at the soundly sleeping dog to leave me alone and let me sleep. He in response opened one eye, looked at me and promptly went back to sleep.

I searched my ipod in vain for a movie to watch. Nothing appealed to me. Even the idea of watching the awesome Zach Galifianakis' stellar performance in Out Cold had no appeal, which is weird because as I have made perfectly clear in the past I am a total ZG fangirl.

Tired and cranky, longing only for NFL football and refusing to watch ESPN and NFL Network reruns (again) I found something that made my fuzzy brain double take with interest.

Frailty was on. I have never seen this movie, although I have heard quite a bit about it.
I pride myself on my pop culture knowledge, and I understood the references to this Bill Paxton flick, but I didn't have that critical 1st person experience that I feel is so vital.

I did pause for a moment before changing the channel to this movie, because this pop culture/1st person experience need of mine has gotten me in trouble in the past. I finally watched Deliverance and frankly I am sure I was better off just understanding those references.

However I decided to take the risk and watch the movie. About 20 minutes into it I fell fast asleep. DAMN! I was just getting into the movie. So Netflix will have to come to my rescue yet again

Have you seen any good movies lately?

J

As the words tumble from my brain........

I am currently working on a wordy tribute to the small screen. Check back, when it is finished I am sure it will change your world.

J

Get His Pants!

What do you get when you combine bad accents, the Six-million dollar man, a Weezer song, one awesome Canadian actress , a dash of a Bogart Movie, a Playboy Playmate, and my favorite comedian????

Sometimes you have to watch a movie that requires no thought and provides humor at its lowest. This post is dedicated to Out Cold, a typical slacker flick, starring an ensemble cast led by Jason London, who by the way is the identical twin brother of actor Jeremy London (whose ode to the slacker was the awesome Mallrats).

The story is one that has been told a thousand times (and usually never very well) a group of buddies living and "working" in a place they love only to learn that BIG business will be swooping in and changing their world into a glitzy and glamorous monstrosity. Of course herd O'slackers must band together and fight the evil that is Big Business aka John Majors, played by the invincible Lee Majors (who at one time was my neighbor or something), that is if they can sober up in time.

***************************Beware the spoilers***************************

The back story belongs to Rick (Jason London), who is king shit (also know as King of The Mountain) in the town of Bull Mountain, a title earned by snowboarding down the mountain and finishing first, with the most beer in his glass. The race ends at the bare-assed statue of Bull Mountain's founder, Papa Muntz. The events after the race give a clear indication that Jenny (A.J. Cook), the lone slacker chick, is very interested in Rick, however apparently he is still in love, lust, whatever with Anna (Caroline Dhavernas) a pretty french girl he met on a magical vacation in Cancun in a very romantic cantina called Pedro O'Horny's. Anna, who it turns out is the daughter of John Majors, abandons Rick after three glorious weeks of drinking, sex, and that song by Weezer, never to be heard from again. Until one night when she walks into the local bar.

The rest of the slackers are Luke, who is Rick's best friend, Luke's dimwitted brother PigPen, the lone black guy, Anthony, who in the end learns to board and Lance the not so in the closet bartender.

Luke, the comedic heart of the flick, is portrayed by funny man Zach Galifianakis. You may remember Zach as the gay morgue guy in that show starring Eliza Dushku's boobs or possibly from his awesome but short lived late night show.

In all honesty without the character of Luke, Out Cold wouldn't be neither interesting nor funny. Just the facial expressions Zach/Luke provides as he is thrown into situations like waking up to a Polar Bear giving him an increasingly aggressive blow job, or spending the night nude in an empty hot tub because his "little Elvis" (yes I mean his penis, which you can actually check out if you have quick eyes in the documentary The Comedians of Comedy) had become lodged in somewhere you should not put it, are classic.

Minor, but important, parts are filled by Reno 911!'s very own Lt. Jim Dangle, Thomas Lennon, Willie Garson and the super hunky professional snowboarder Todd Richards, who ironically plays Barry the parapalegic fiancee of Anna. The money shot of the movie belongs to Victoria Silvstedt who plays Anna's swedish step-sister, Inga.

The story is simple, the sex jokes are ample and there is enough beer to float the Titanic. The boarding footage is beautiful and the wipeouts at the end are painful. Check it out, you might like it.

If you are a fan of Galifianakis, as you may have guessed that I am, you have to see it. He is at his best sleeping duct taped to a mechanical bull. Gotta love him, and the flick.

J

Please Pass The Apocalypse

Driving home from work one morning, at 6am, I found myself on a stretch of road that is usually teeming with other drivers, but not this day. I was alone. It was eerie even a little frightening. Being the "highly imaginative" person that I am I noticed and I immediately began to wonder that if during the wee hours that just maybe some major world event had occurred and left me alone, driving my little white car.

Then the road I was on merged onto another and I knew that all was right in the world as simultaneously I was almost run over by and 18 wheeler and cut off by a PT Cruiser. There had been no world ending event.

I work alone five nights a week from 10pm to 6am, and during this time I spend a whole lot of time watching movies, surfing the net, blogging about movies (or pretty boys as you would know if you have seen my other blog) and many other time consuming pursuits. I am usually not frightened by this time alone, but on rare occasions when my imagination gets the best of me, my thoughts sometimes wander to the end of days.......

Anyway, tonight I decided that it would be a great idea to watch a movie I had been wondering about, 28 Days Later. Which if you didn't know is a movie about and apocalyptic event in England (and suddenly my ramblings make some sense).

So maybe I am easily scared, added to the fact that I am all alone but I must admit that I think this is one hell of a movie. I'm not a fan of Cillian Murphy, but if he is given limited speaking or dramatic responsibility he can shine.

I hadn't really researched the movie well, so it was to my delight that one of my favorite British actors had a bit of a role as well, Christopher Eccelston is brilliant as Major Henry West.

The idea behind this movie is disturbing, the action was extremely fast paced, and frankly I believe that story could have been fleshed out just a little more. However for quick bit of heart pounding action this is a great choice.

J

An Ode ?

The song: Sweep The Leg
The band: No More Kings


J

Phil Collins Deserves a Kick to the Nuts for What He Did To Me!

Two things you should know about me. One, I am a sappy girl, I like sappy things. Love songs, romantic movies, puppy dogs.........you get the picture. Two, I love cheesy 80's music and more importantly movies. I believe that John Hughes should be sainted.

I have seen many 80's movies dozens of times and I can usually quote you some dialogue. However along my journey of 80's indulgence I managed to miss the 1984 flick Against All Odds (a remake of a 1947 movie called Out of the Past) starring Jeff Bridges, Rachel Ward and James Woods.

This is where Phil Collins comes in, stick with me.

Not so long ago I moved to a big city. This big city has a various number of delights including a plethora of radio stations, what a great thing. However it has become my downfall as well. I have heard songs that I haven't heard in a very long time and this has resulted in that old feeling of nostalgia. The Friday flashback has made me long for all things 80's. Phil Collins and his long and odd, but beautiful love songs have been among them, and for days the song Against All Odds has been bouncing around in my brain. So I decided that I needed to see the movie, if I liked it half as much as I liked the song it was a win for me.

However I did not enjoy to movie. Aside from the yummy young Jeff Bridges this movie had nothing to offer. The story was more than ridiculous, the female lead (Ward) was unsympathetic and the "happy ending" was whatever another word for ridiculous is. Even the very steamy sex scenes were not enough to save the trite dialogue and banal story.

************************************SPOILERS************************************

The story follows Terry Brogan (Bridges) an almost retired football player who looses his team and is forced to work for his friend Jake Wise (Woods), gangster extraordinaire, because Terry not only has spent every penny he ever made, Jake has some dirt on him.

Jake sends Terry to Mexico to find the love of his life, Jessie (Ward), a gal who stabbed Jake just to get away from him. I am just fine (?) with the story so far but soon after it turned on me.........It got to a point that I thought for a moment that Quentin Tarntino might pop up from behind the couch. Terry does find Jesse, but hides the fact from Jake. Terry and Jesse fall into love? lust? whatever it was it involved lots of sex.

At some point they decide that they must run away and they split up while Terry pretends to look for Jessie, presumably to throw Jake off their trail. They eventually met again in some pretty amazing Mayan ruins and of course have more sex. This time they are interrupted by a portly man who was once Terry's trainer and is currently another of Jake's henchmen.

Are you with me so far???

A melee ensues and Jessie, who I can only ascertain by the end of the movie is a homicidal maniac, shoots Portly and abandons Terry in a matter of moments. Where does she go you may ask? Well home to Jake, because she is crazy, the entire time she keeps telling Terry she loves him

More things happen, a sleazy lawyer is killed, Jessie shoots and kills Jake. Terry, who aside from that one moment of weakness is very noble and wonderful, goes to play for the Dolphins.............whatever.

Honestly I am not really sure. Jessie is a spoiled user of people who cares only about herself, Terry is an honest, redeemed man who is in love with a crazy person, and there was an entire other plot about small time government and the corruption that is within.


So I say once again, Jeff Bridges is yummy but movie was pretty much a waste of time. Although it was not nearly as bad as Bless This Child.

J

Strong Bad's guide to The Movies

The best discussion of movie going etiquette: http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail167.html

I heart the idiot box

I love movies. My problem is I never go to the movies. I watch them on TV or online. Yes, I'm a renter. When I went through my hippie phase I was all down on TV, "kill your television" bumper sticker and all that, but the truth is I like TV.

So I'm taking up precious blog space to tell you about this awesome TV show: Planet Earth. Okay, yes it's a documentary. But seriously, watch it. I feel like Jodie Foster in Contact but I don't have words to explain how beautiful and amazing is this show.

Do what you have to do to watch this show. DO IT NOW!

*Highlighted words are linked to more information.

The Problem With Sofia

Monument to Marie Antoinette, Basilica of Saint Denis, Paris

Last night I watched Marie Antoinette. I liked it, I did. But here is the problem I have: is Sofia Coppola innovative or is it just that she can't think up the right thing to say to make a movie complete?

I heard an interview where she said she couldn't imagine the perfect line for Bill Murray to whisper in Scarlett Johanssen's ear at the end of Lost in Translation and that's why we don't know. Now, I have a degree in journalism and know how hard it is to write sometimes but that doesn't mean you just get to skip giving information because you have a block.

Every time I watch one of her movies I feel like something was just missing. I will say though that I loved the stylized version of the 18th century she presented and the lavender Chuck T's in the "I Want Candy" scene was awesome.

See Casino Royale.

Ode to Donnie Darko

So I was walking through the Honolulu Airport the other day and in the center of one of the open air walkways is a jet engine. I glanced at it and walked by. Then I stopped, walked backward to the engine and saw someone had written "Donnie Darko" in the dust on the top of the thing. I took a picture but it didn't turn out, alas.

This is my hooray to whomever left that message.

Bestest vs. Worstest Part Deux: Return of the List

I spent every moment of my long absence thinking about my bestest movie list and this is what I came up with...


5. Labyrinth, Kill Bill 1&2, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
4. Army of Darkness
3. Howl's Moving Castle
2. Fight Club
1. Princess Bride

Number's five: there are so many great movies I just couldn't keep it to a top five, I had to do a top seven. I never get tired of seeing David Bowie in a cod piece. Labyrinth is one of those movies I watched over and over as a child and continue now, aged adult, to watch it several times a year, even if it is just in the background as I clean my kitchen. Yes, I even own the soundtrack and listen to it, oddly enough while cleaning...

The Kill Bill's for Tarantino's innovation, yes it was a violent movie but one that combined three genres cohesively, no small task. Every time I watch it I am impressed, no small task.

If you don't already know why Monty Python is on a best list, you never will.

Number four: The ultimate cult classic. Sure, sure it's no Spiderman but what kind of hero do we really want? A whiny, weeny or a black humored manly man? I know how I like my men, I like them to be sarcastic assholes.

Number three: the truth is I like anime. There, I said it, it's my guilty pleasure. I like Akira and all the Miyazaki's and I like "Inuyasha" and I like "Samurai Champloo", okay! Now leave me alone, oh god what will my friends think of me?

Number two: this was the first movie that ever really surprised me. I was floored near the end when I found out the big reveal. I mean holy crap that was awesome! Some of the best quotable lines, lots of action and ... uummm ... we'll call it romance. Very original. I'm still waiting for the movies of Palahniuk's other books.

Numero Uno: the big one. Princess Bride, still funny and a classic. I can to this day recite the entire movie and sing along with the songs. When I was a kid I had a crush on Fred Savage. My love of this movie is unending. And while the rest of my list may change and rearrange this one will always be number one. "She gets kidnapped. He gets killed. But it all ends up okay."

The Puffy Chair

ehh..........seriously

I am a fan of independent films. However this one, not so much. Don't waste your time, watch Half Nelson instead.




J

Remember when

I said I would tell you how much I enjoyed the movie Transamerica? Well without giving too much away I have a few things to say.

1. Felicity Huffman was sublime as Bree, the pre-op transsexual lead formerly known as Stanley.

2. There were moments in the movie that were in turn heartbreaking, hilarious, charming, heartwarming and occasionally a bit unbelievable. Although if all movies were based completely in reality why would we watch them? Give me a bit unbelievable any day.

3. After all the arguing points this is just a simple film about a parent and a child, and their struggle to find themselves and each other.

4. The movie ended beautifully with the barest beginning of a potentially beautiful relationship, however it was not the quick happy ending that movie goers have been spoon fed for so long. I will say that it left me with a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat.

Transamerica is one of the most impressive movies I have seen in a very long time.

J

Bestest vs. Worstest movies ever

I was thinking the other day about opinions, and really why should my opinion matter when there are so many other opinions out there. I decided what is important about getting someones opinion is whether or not you agree with the statement. Theoretically, you want to get as many varieties of opinions as possible to make a decision but the truth is that most people just want to hear an opinion similar to their own, which is why I've decided to do a top and bottom five. This way everyone knows how I feel and can take my opinions as gospel...or not.

Worstest:
5. Star Wars: Phantom Menace
4. Gothika
3. Devil Wears Prada
2. Minority Report
1. The Descent and Hide and Seek
Bonus: Chuck and Buck - I love independents but there was no excuse for this film.

For various reasons I found these to be the worst movies ever (that I can think of at the moment).

I think no explanation is necessary for number five. Number four was everything that is predictable in the thriller genre. Number three for celebrating someone who decides being a career woman is a bad thing - not to mention writing the main characters friends as ridiculously unsupportive. Number two for being an okay movie with a rainbows and bunnies ending that was insulting. And my tied for number ones: The Descent turned an amazing book that would have made an amazing movie into crap, why mess with perfection for unnecessary plot and character changes? WHY? Finally to Hide and Seek for wasting De Niro and for wasting and hour on building a surprise ending that was no surprise after the first 20 minutes of the movie.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do know there are worse movies than what I listed here. Movies poorly made and imbecilic beyond belief - like these - but my worstest list is simply the most personally offensive, partly due to the commercial success.

The next installment will be the bestest movies ever!

Highlighted words are linked to more information.

I (heart) Bobby.

Last night I watched Taxi Driver for the first time and loved De Niro. The film is excellent, the only detractor being it's slight ramble. When Scorsese won the oscar this year he said The Departed was the first movie he ever made with a plot. The beginning of Taxi Driver wanders in a way that made me reevaluate Scorsese's statement about plot and appreciate his laughing honesty.

When I finished watching it last night I turned the TV off and made cookies. I thought at first the movie had a happy ending. Travis' slow decent into psychosis ended with societal acceptance, yea! But as I stirred my cookie dough, wondering why I chose to bake at 9 p.m., I reassessed my yea. Really nothing had changed for him, and if someone had descended far enough down to actually take action in the way he did, how likely is it he would come out the other side all better? Chances seem high that Travis will return to his self-imposed isolation and repeat the cycle of decent with the idea he is supported by the public because of his previous success. I think I must have known all along because I can't imagine why else I would suddenly need to do something as comforting as baking cookies.

So, dear friends, I cannot but reccommend this film. How ballsy would it be of me to say any different after 30 years of commendations Taxi Driver has recieved? Seeing New York in it's pre Disney-fied glory was one of the greatest and most disconcerting aspects of the movie too.

Also to relate back to my title I have to say Bobby De Niro is amazing. I never knew had such an awesomely hot body back in the day.

VD Favorites

On this, the mother of all corporate created holidays, I thought I would leave a thoughtful list of appropriate movies to view alone or with your sweety. In order from best to bestest:
5. Kill Bill
4. Cry Baby
3. Fear
2. Valentine

And the greatest Valentine's Day movie of all time
1. Heathers

Can you feel the love?
(Click on the red movie titles for more information)

I also am a fan of the Netflix and I'll tell you why:
The Descent
Tristan and Isodle
Little Miss Sunshine
Berserk (vol. 1)
Brokeback Mountain
The Future of Food
Match Point
Wallace and Gromit
The Devil Wears Prada
Cowboy Del Amor

and waiting at home:
The Black Dahlia
The Notorious Betty Page

But this blog isn't about Netflix's wonderfulness it's about ours. It's about the journey of two sisters who aren't related yet both dedicated to giving people our opinions. It's about having lots of free time at work. It's about movies (and occasionally anything else we need to mention).

COMING SOON! ACTUAL REVIEWS!

Hooray for Netflix!!

So lately I have seen...

-Hannibal Rising
-Capote
-The Illusionist
-Constantine
-Over The Hedge
-My Super Ex-Girlfriend
-Transamerica
-The Black Dahlia
-Soylent Green
-Open Season
-Brick
-Soldier's Girl
-House of Sand and Fog
-Hedwig and The Angry Inch
and
-V for Vendetta

In particular Transamerica, Brick and Soldier's Girl were standouts, and I am going to tell you why.

Madam M, what have you seen lately?


J