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Sunday, June 17, 2007

Get His Pants!

What do you get when you combine bad accents, the Six-million dollar man, a Weezer song, one awesome Canadian actress , a dash of a Bogart Movie, a Playboy Playmate, and my favorite comedian????






Sometimes you have to watch a movie that requires no thought and provides humor at its lowest. This post is dedicated to Out Cold, a typical slacker flick, starring an ensemble cast led by Jason London, who by the way is the identical twin brother of actor Jeremy London (whose ode to the slacker was the awesome Mallrats).

The story is one that has been told a thousand times (and usually never very well) a group of buddies living and "working" in a place they love only to learn that BIG business will be swooping in and changing their world into a glitzy and glamorous monstrosity. Of course herd O'slackers must band together and fight the evil that is Big Business aka John Majors, played by the invincible Lee Majors (who at one time was my neighbor or something), that is if they can sober up in time.




***************************Beware the spoilers***************************





The back story belongs to Rick (Jason London), who is king shit (also know as King of The Mountain) in the town of Bull Mountain, a title earned by snowboarding down the mountain and finishing first, with the most beer in his glass. The race ends at the bare-assed statue of Bull Mountain's founder, Papa Muntz. The events after the race give a clear indication that Jenny (A.J. Cook), the lone slacker chick, is very interested in Rick, however apparently he is still in love, lust, whatever with Anna (Caroline Dhavernas) a pretty french girl he met on a magical vacation in Cancun in a very romantic cantina called Pedro O'Horny's. Anna, who it turns out is the daughter of John Majors, abandons Rick after three glorious weeks of drinking, sex, and that song by Weezer, never to be heard from again. Until one night when she walks into the local bar.



The rest of the slackers are Luke, who is Rick's best friend, Luke's dimwitted brother PigPen, the lone black guy, Anthony, who in the end learns to board and Lance the not so in the closet bartender.

Luke, the comedic heart of the flick, is portrayed by funny man Zach Galifianakis. You may remember Zach as the gay morgue guy in that
show starring Eliza Dushku's boobs or possibly from his awesome but short lived late night show.



In all honesty without the character of Luke, Out Cold wouldn't be neither interesting nor funny. Just the facial expressions Zach/Luke provides as he is thrown into situations like waking up to a Polar Bear giving him an increasingly aggressive blow job, or spending the night nude in an empty hot tub because his "little Elvis" (yes I mean his penis, which you can actually check out if you have quick eyes in the documentary The Comedians of Comedy) had become lodged in somewhere you should not put it, are classic.



Minor, but important, parts are filled by Reno 911!'s very own Lt. Jim Dangle, Thomas Lennon, Willie Garson and the super hunky professional snowboarder Todd Richards, who ironically plays Barry the parapalegic fiancee of Anna. The money shot of the movie belongs to Victoria Silvstedt who plays Anna's swedish step-sister, Inga.


The story is simple, the sex jokes are ample and there is enough beer to float the Titanic. The boarding footage is beautiful and the wipeouts at the end are painful. Check it out, you might like it.


If you are a fan of Galifianakis, as you may have guessed that I am, you have to see it. He is at his best sleeping duct taped to a mechanical bull. Gotta love him, and the flick.

J

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